The cinema is a wonderful place, for decades it has been a place for people to escape to and enjoy a wealth of different films. Cinemas have changed dramatically since the old days bringing new technology, more snack options and comfier seating with them into the 21st century.
'Newer' and 'more' however do not always ewual better, there has always been an unspoken 'etiquette' when it comes to cinema that has been around as long as the silver screen itself has. I feel that in these modern times that those sacred unwritten laws have been bent and mishapen as time has passed, its time to address the offenders!
Food
I shall hold my hands up and say that when it comes to food I am certainly not completely against it in the cinema environment. Lets examine everyone's favourite buttery (or salted) snack, popcorn!
There is nothing wrong with popcorn in cinemas, it has been a staple of the experience for years and iIdon't want it to ever fade. The problem with this snack though is not the snack itself, rather the way people choose to eat it. We as an audience should choose our chomping moments abit better, maybe stuff handfuls of the sweets stuff into our mouths as Optimus Prime crashes through a building and not when Rachel McAdams is finally going to get her kiss! This eliminates awkward chomping and having to feel the wrath of the dreaded 'shushers' now SHHHHHHH!
There is a more recent snack that should be terminated with extreme prejudice, hot food! How many times have you popped in a DVD at home and though 'gee you know what would go nicely with this? I full blown hot meal'. My local cinema complex is absolutely bursting with different restaurants choices but instead of choosing a nice seated meal before the film starts, individuals decide to gorge themselves on multiple hotdogs before the trailers have even finished. Hot food during the feature is just completely unnecessary. We've all been there, the person in front sits down with some lovely nachos that smell delicious and our tummys rumble, however after 120 minutes of sitting there going stone cold the remainder of this meal begins to fester and makes the whole aisle smell like landfill!
A what about the contraband of cinemas....im talking about sweets and snack brought into the the cinema but not purchased on the premise! THE CHEEK! Personally i feel there is absolutely nothing wrong with this if it is done in moderation. Do the cinema only stock chocolate M&M's but your preference is peanut? Just bring them in! I have dome this countless times and I really don't think after my friends and I have all paid close to £10 a ticket, a 30p bag of sweets is going to make a blind bit of difference.
Mobile Phones
This should be absolutely zero tolerance, there are different levels of being a cinema goer, you might be a die hard fan or just as casual, but at the end of the day it comes down to one thing and that is respect. Would you use a mobile phone during a wedding reception or a funeral of a loved one?
Although it may be be immediately apparent going to the cinema is a social experience, you are experiencing and being engage in a story among friends. This should be a prime opportunity to just switch off from what ever distractions your phone has you gripped by, just switch off for an hour or 2 two. It's a saddening thing to see some major cinemas actually encourage mobile phone use with the addition of phone based quizzes and competitions, shame on them. If it was up to me I would install airport style security at every cinema to check for mobile devices, if found on thier person the offender would be swiftly taken out the back and given a proper seeing to.
Facilities
Any budding cinema goer will tell you that 'pre show urination' is essential, especially now we have 20 minutes of adverts and trailers added onto what could be a 150 minute feature! So therefore facilities should be close to hand and not need orienteering experience to find one. I really don't understand why some cinemas insist on making you trudge the halls of thier massive building once the call of nature strikes. Picture this, you are moments from the big finale of a film but need to answer the call, you sprint out of the screening room, down 2 corridors through reception to the nearest toilet, relief..... This is never the case however because for some reason a cinema that can hold close to a thousand people can only provide 4 urinals and 2 stalls, now im waiting in line and will just have to imagine how how the finale pans out. :(
I hope you enjoyed these witterings about the etiquette of cinema and feel free to share with me some of your best and worst memories from a visit to the silver screen, until next time!
Monday, 4 January 2016
Saturday, 2 January 2016
The best and worst of 2015
Its that time of year again, and I cant believe how the time flys! There have been some huge releases in cinema this year and i tried my best to catch as many of them as I could. It was a great year also for horror films and some indie gems. So here are my best and worst of 2015, feel free to share with me your own as I would love to here from you! All the best and happy new year :)
The Best
Cop Car
A fantastic gem of a film that centres around 2 small boys who come across an abandoned cop car and decide to steal it. A tense and nerve racking game of cat and mouse ensues between the boys and the crooked cop who owns the vehicle. The film is beautifully shot and relies on a small cast of talented actors, the best Kevin Bacon performance I feel of his entire career.
We Are Still Here
An extremely well made horror film by one of my favourite directors Ted Geoghegan. The film has a very 80's vibe but still manages to feel current in the way that it is shot. Geoghegan did not disappoint on his 3rd major film and the last 15 minute bloodbath was my horror highlight of the year!
Ex Machina
A thought provoking look at technology, artificial intelligence and the human/machine relationship. Ex Machina is often tense, sometimes dark but always beautifully filmed. Another film with a small but talented cast this is easily one of the best Sci-fi thillers in the last decade.
Mad Max; Fury Road
'OH WHAT A FILM, WHAT A LOVELY FILM'
Dope
The surprise of the year for me, 3 loveable geeks are pulled into a circle of crime when their backpack is accidentally switched with one carrying drugs. Dope is heartfelt, funny and bang up to date. It features a stunning soundtrack and a truly memorable cast, I just 'recommend it enough.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
A film that is truly worth of all the praise that it has been given. Episode 7 in the saga is just a pure adventure with a fantastic eye for detail. The new characters were instantly likeable and worked well together as well as with older cast members. Kylo Ren was a well written villain and I laughed more through this film than I did through most of this year's comedies!
The Best
Cop Car
A fantastic gem of a film that centres around 2 small boys who come across an abandoned cop car and decide to steal it. A tense and nerve racking game of cat and mouse ensues between the boys and the crooked cop who owns the vehicle. The film is beautifully shot and relies on a small cast of talented actors, the best Kevin Bacon performance I feel of his entire career.
We Are Still Here
An extremely well made horror film by one of my favourite directors Ted Geoghegan. The film has a very 80's vibe but still manages to feel current in the way that it is shot. Geoghegan did not disappoint on his 3rd major film and the last 15 minute bloodbath was my horror highlight of the year!
Ex Machina
A thought provoking look at technology, artificial intelligence and the human/machine relationship. Ex Machina is often tense, sometimes dark but always beautifully filmed. Another film with a small but talented cast this is easily one of the best Sci-fi thillers in the last decade.
Mad Max; Fury Road
'OH WHAT A FILM, WHAT A LOVELY FILM'
Dope
The surprise of the year for me, 3 loveable geeks are pulled into a circle of crime when their backpack is accidentally switched with one carrying drugs. Dope is heartfelt, funny and bang up to date. It features a stunning soundtrack and a truly memorable cast, I just 'recommend it enough.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
A film that is truly worth of all the praise that it has been given. Episode 7 in the saga is just a pure adventure with a fantastic eye for detail. The new characters were instantly likeable and worked well together as well as with older cast members. Kylo Ren was a well written villain and I laughed more through this film than I did through most of this year's comedies!
The Worst
The Visit
To me The Visit was a complete flop, completely devoid of any suspense, scares and humour this was just an empty husk of a film.
Inside Out
Now before you all start sharpening your pitch forks hear me out.....
Inside Out was by no means a a terrible film, however it earns it's spot on my list for being the most disappointing. This was prasied as Pixar's masterpiece but for a film centred around emotions, I just didnt care. I didn't invest myself in the characters, the jokes felt forced and Sadness is possibly the most annoying character I have seen on screen all year.
Maggie
Arnold Schwarzenegger stares across fields for 90 minutes and doesn't blow anything up. Pass.
Jurassic World
Nothing more than a cash grab! The 4th entry in the series takes everything we loved form the original film (suspense, clever writing, practical effects) and throws then all away. We are now left with a CGI heavy, nonsensical mess draped with product placement. Jurassic World deserves to be extinct.
The Human Centipede 3: Final Sequence
The most attention seeking, shameless piece of waste I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. This film felt like an insult to the genre and it's fans, a sad thing that such a vile film ever made it to our screens.
Tuesday, 22 December 2015
Praise For Scream Queens
As a big horror fan and someone who felt massively let down by MTV's Scream TV series, I was pleasantly surprised to hear about another horror show hitting the small screen.
Scream Queens centres around an all girl fraternity called Kappa Kappa Tau (KKT for short) in which these girls are pursued and stalked by a mysterious killer wearing the College mascot's famous red devil costume.
I really didn't know what to expect going into the series but was immediately invested in what was a great opening episode. Emma Roberts did an incredible job of playing the queen bee on campus Chanel Oberlin, her dialogue and overly drawn out insults were an absolute treat to witness each week! The thing that really surprised me about the series is how characters appeared to fit in to stereotypical roles at first only to then be completely shattered by shock twist and brilliant script writing. Chanel Oberlin was a great character and I found myself rooting for her even when I probably shouldn't have, the series challenged your perception of certain character roles and I really respected that. Other note worthy roles are the brilliantly insane Chad Radwell and the sassy yet incompetent Denise Hemphill.
A real joy for any horror fan was the inclusion of legend Jamie Lee Curtis, as a staple of horror in the late seventies she bought the star factor to this new series. Her character of Dean Munsch was a perfect blend of sleek and mysterious but with a touch of menace.
There were a range of big names attached to this series including, Ariana Grande, Nick Jones and even Lea Michelle. None of these names appeared in fleeting roles, they were important characters in the story and it was great to see ex Disney star Nick Jones in such a dark role.
I originally thought the design of the killer (red devil costume) was pretty lackluster. I didnt like how platicy and shiny it looked, also the whole bulk of the outfit would be really im practical during chases. However overtime i grew used to it and the bulky design almost acted like body armour on a number of occasion as the killer came up against more worthy foes. I think the show did a great job of placing the killer in a certain locations and scenarios that really allowed a variety of weapons to be used. Gore hounds will definitely take something away from this series in terms of the body count!
Scream Queens centres around an all girl fraternity called Kappa Kappa Tau (KKT for short) in which these girls are pursued and stalked by a mysterious killer wearing the College mascot's famous red devil costume.
I really didn't know what to expect going into the series but was immediately invested in what was a great opening episode. Emma Roberts did an incredible job of playing the queen bee on campus Chanel Oberlin, her dialogue and overly drawn out insults were an absolute treat to witness each week! The thing that really surprised me about the series is how characters appeared to fit in to stereotypical roles at first only to then be completely shattered by shock twist and brilliant script writing. Chanel Oberlin was a great character and I found myself rooting for her even when I probably shouldn't have, the series challenged your perception of certain character roles and I really respected that. Other note worthy roles are the brilliantly insane Chad Radwell and the sassy yet incompetent Denise Hemphill.
A real joy for any horror fan was the inclusion of legend Jamie Lee Curtis, as a staple of horror in the late seventies she bought the star factor to this new series. Her character of Dean Munsch was a perfect blend of sleek and mysterious but with a touch of menace.
There were a range of big names attached to this series including, Ariana Grande, Nick Jones and even Lea Michelle. None of these names appeared in fleeting roles, they were important characters in the story and it was great to see ex Disney star Nick Jones in such a dark role.
I originally thought the design of the killer (red devil costume) was pretty lackluster. I didnt like how platicy and shiny it looked, also the whole bulk of the outfit would be really im practical during chases. However overtime i grew used to it and the bulky design almost acted like body armour on a number of occasion as the killer came up against more worthy foes. I think the show did a great job of placing the killer in a certain locations and scenarios that really allowed a variety of weapons to be used. Gore hounds will definitely take something away from this series in terms of the body count!
I had been waiting for a show like Scream Queens to hit my screen for what seemed like forever and it was really a highlight of 2015. This is a show made by people who love horror and most importantly understand and respect the genre. It does a fantastic job of paying homage and inserting sneaky references here and there whilst being able to stand out among other shows.
A rock solid cast, devilishly dark writing and a high a body count make this series not one to turn your back on!
Wednesday, 25 November 2015
Review: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2
2015 Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Woody Harrelson, Donald Sutherland
The final installation in the Hunger Games film franchise and this time its war.
With evil dictator President Snow cowering in his mansion, the 13 districts prepare there troops for the final assault.
One word a come use to sum up this end chapter is 'heavy', really heavy. Probably the darkest out of all the current teen fiction flicks and the 12A rating is highly deserved. The sense of loss and desperation in this film was almost overwhelming at times, I went into the the cinema tense and came out feeling like id fought the war alongside our heroes! The grimness is broken up by really elaborate and flashy action sequences that looked gorgeous on the big screen. The multiple traps called 'pods' laid out to slice, maim, burn and drown the soldiers were really well thought out. There is a fantastic sequence in which the heroes transition seamlessly from just barely escaping a hot oil pod to straight into a car park fire fight with dozens of Capital guard. All of this exploded from a great dystopian backdrop and accompanied by a booming musical score.
The acting was mostly solid, brilliant performance from Jennifer Lawrence and the final few moments had me fighting the tears (not ashamed!). However I did take issue with the smaller characters being spread extremely thinly. Effie Trinket, a usually vibrant and witty character was almost not seen at all and her inclusion in the film I felt was purely to remind us she was part of the story. I feel that this entry in the series really did cater to the book crowd and may have left ones that hadn't read it scratching there heads.
Overall Mockingjay Part 2 is a solid addition to the series, however it's sombre tone and final act make it a difficult film to enjoy per say and an even harder one to recommend.
The Verdict
Mockingjay Part 2 is an exhausting and emotional ride but a ride worth experiencing never the less. Fans of the series who have not read the book may feel the film lose speed in certain parts, but a strong central cast, heartfelt acting from its leads and gut wrenching final scenes will keep the fires of rebellion burning well into the new year.
3/5
The final installation in the Hunger Games film franchise and this time its war.
With evil dictator President Snow cowering in his mansion, the 13 districts prepare there troops for the final assault.
One word a come use to sum up this end chapter is 'heavy', really heavy. Probably the darkest out of all the current teen fiction flicks and the 12A rating is highly deserved. The sense of loss and desperation in this film was almost overwhelming at times, I went into the the cinema tense and came out feeling like id fought the war alongside our heroes! The grimness is broken up by really elaborate and flashy action sequences that looked gorgeous on the big screen. The multiple traps called 'pods' laid out to slice, maim, burn and drown the soldiers were really well thought out. There is a fantastic sequence in which the heroes transition seamlessly from just barely escaping a hot oil pod to straight into a car park fire fight with dozens of Capital guard. All of this exploded from a great dystopian backdrop and accompanied by a booming musical score.
The acting was mostly solid, brilliant performance from Jennifer Lawrence and the final few moments had me fighting the tears (not ashamed!). However I did take issue with the smaller characters being spread extremely thinly. Effie Trinket, a usually vibrant and witty character was almost not seen at all and her inclusion in the film I felt was purely to remind us she was part of the story. I feel that this entry in the series really did cater to the book crowd and may have left ones that hadn't read it scratching there heads.
Overall Mockingjay Part 2 is a solid addition to the series, however it's sombre tone and final act make it a difficult film to enjoy per say and an even harder one to recommend.
The Verdict
Mockingjay Part 2 is an exhausting and emotional ride but a ride worth experiencing never the less. Fans of the series who have not read the book may feel the film lose speed in certain parts, but a strong central cast, heartfelt acting from its leads and gut wrenching final scenes will keep the fires of rebellion burning well into the new year.
3/5
Thursday, 12 November 2015
Review: Howl
2015, Sam Gittins, Rosie Day, Eliot Cowan
There have been quite a few train themed horror films, Creep being one of the more successful. these films are effective because there is a crushing sense of claustrophobia once something out of your control happens, you a stranded with strangers and are then forced to form alliances.
Watching these alliances form between the small but varied cast of characters was a big highlight for me. Some of the characters started out very stereotype but surprised me in a big way when they did something really clever or brave. This was definitely intentional on the director's part and kept me glued to the screen. It is always enjoyable when you can really get behind a character and root for them to survive, equally satisfying is waiting for potential villain's demise!
The creatures themselves, which you can probably tell by the title are Werewolf like, were spectacular for the film's budget! We are introduced nice and slowly but when the first on is revealed in all it's terrifying glory I actually muttered an audible 'wow' such a pleasant surprise!
The creatures are shown advancing on the train from the woods and the eerie effect of them standing on hind legs with eyes glowing was an image I couldn't shake for the rest of the film.
The Verdict
Howl is a thoroughly well crafted British indie horror flick! The diverse cast of interesting and well developed characters coupled with some great practical creature effects make a it a bloody good time.
4/5
I am always eager to watch anything that comes from the British horror scene, not just to support my own country but because of a brilliant track record both recent and old. With the likes of 28 Days Later and Eden Lake, can 2015's Howl cement its place amongst the greats?
Our story begins when a bored and frustrated train attendant is forced to work a double shift on the last train home travelling across London. He and his work colleague (and potential love interest) knuckle down for the long haul when the train collides with something on the track, stranding the couple and the train's passengers.
There have been quite a few train themed horror films, Creep being one of the more successful. these films are effective because there is a crushing sense of claustrophobia once something out of your control happens, you a stranded with strangers and are then forced to form alliances.
Watching these alliances form between the small but varied cast of characters was a big highlight for me. Some of the characters started out very stereotype but surprised me in a big way when they did something really clever or brave. This was definitely intentional on the director's part and kept me glued to the screen. It is always enjoyable when you can really get behind a character and root for them to survive, equally satisfying is waiting for potential villain's demise!
The creatures themselves, which you can probably tell by the title are Werewolf like, were spectacular for the film's budget! We are introduced nice and slowly but when the first on is revealed in all it's terrifying glory I actually muttered an audible 'wow' such a pleasant surprise!
The creatures are shown advancing on the train from the woods and the eerie effect of them standing on hind legs with eyes glowing was an image I couldn't shake for the rest of the film.
The Verdict
Howl is a thoroughly well crafted British indie horror flick! The diverse cast of interesting and well developed characters coupled with some great practical creature effects make a it a bloody good time.
4/5
Monday, 26 October 2015
10 films to watch this Halloween
With the spookiest time of the year approaching I thought I would compile a short list of horror films to keep you scared this year. This list is in no particular order and I have picked films I feel are appropriate for horror lovers and the casual viewer alike.
Enjoy and feel free to share with me your scariest film!
1. Evil Dead 2013
I chose 2013's remake of the classic Evil Dead because I feel it keeps the key components of the original, whilst bringing the tale bang up to date. You wont find any corny one liners and goofy acting here, just awesome splatter effects and nail biting tension. A brisk pace and gore galore make it a superb popcorn flick.
2. Laid To Rest
A straight forward but stylishly executed slasher film. The character of Chromeskull easily stands among the greats in terms of a memorable villain. This film also features one of my all time favourite death scenes in any horror film, can you guess which?
3. Jennifer's Body
Megan Fox as a cheerleader possessed by the spirit of a Succubus and only Amanda Seyfried in thick rimmed glasses can stop her! I am still adamant this will be a cult classic in a few years!
4. Macabre (2009 Indonesian)
A nail-bitingly tense horror which steadily descends into absolute carnage. 2 newly weds and 3 of their friends are pitted against a house full of sadistic killers when they offer the wrong girl a lift home.
5. The Uninvited
A much more simple take on the classic Japanese film A Tale of Two Sisters. This is a great mystery with a really well executed 'who done it' theme. Emily Browning and Elizabeth Banks provide the Hollywood names in this larger budget remake.
6. REC.
A brilliant jumping on point for the found footage side of horror films. A television reporter and cameraman follow emergency workers into an apartment building and quickly discovers the terrors within. REC builds tension nicely and has some genuinely heart pounding moments, I guarantee the final act will have you peering through your fingers!
7. Wrong Turn
Fantastic slasher romp centred around teens in the wood being pursued by bloodthirsty cannibals. Solid scares, good action and practical effects makes this film a real all rounder.
8. The Descent
A great British horror film! The Descent is smart, gritty and extremely claustrophobic. This one will leave you holding your breath and wondering what really lies within our countries cave system.
9. The Loved Ones
Hilarious but also really unsettling Aussie masterpiece! When Brent turns down his classmate Lola's invitation to prom, she wildly concocts a brutal plan for revenge.
10. Ginger Snaps
A film really close to my heart, Ginger Snaps deals with family, adolescence and the horror that is growing up. Wrap all these up in a gothic/werewolf/fantasy theme and you've got a real gem here!
Enjoy and feel free to share with me your scariest film!
1. Evil Dead 2013
I chose 2013's remake of the classic Evil Dead because I feel it keeps the key components of the original, whilst bringing the tale bang up to date. You wont find any corny one liners and goofy acting here, just awesome splatter effects and nail biting tension. A brisk pace and gore galore make it a superb popcorn flick.
2. Laid To Rest
A straight forward but stylishly executed slasher film. The character of Chromeskull easily stands among the greats in terms of a memorable villain. This film also features one of my all time favourite death scenes in any horror film, can you guess which?
3. Jennifer's Body
Megan Fox as a cheerleader possessed by the spirit of a Succubus and only Amanda Seyfried in thick rimmed glasses can stop her! I am still adamant this will be a cult classic in a few years!
4. Macabre (2009 Indonesian)
A nail-bitingly tense horror which steadily descends into absolute carnage. 2 newly weds and 3 of their friends are pitted against a house full of sadistic killers when they offer the wrong girl a lift home.
5. The Uninvited
A much more simple take on the classic Japanese film A Tale of Two Sisters. This is a great mystery with a really well executed 'who done it' theme. Emily Browning and Elizabeth Banks provide the Hollywood names in this larger budget remake.
6. REC.
A brilliant jumping on point for the found footage side of horror films. A television reporter and cameraman follow emergency workers into an apartment building and quickly discovers the terrors within. REC builds tension nicely and has some genuinely heart pounding moments, I guarantee the final act will have you peering through your fingers!
7. Wrong Turn
Fantastic slasher romp centred around teens in the wood being pursued by bloodthirsty cannibals. Solid scares, good action and practical effects makes this film a real all rounder.
8. The Descent
A great British horror film! The Descent is smart, gritty and extremely claustrophobic. This one will leave you holding your breath and wondering what really lies within our countries cave system.
9. The Loved Ones
Hilarious but also really unsettling Aussie masterpiece! When Brent turns down his classmate Lola's invitation to prom, she wildly concocts a brutal plan for revenge.
10. Ginger Snaps
A film really close to my heart, Ginger Snaps deals with family, adolescence and the horror that is growing up. Wrap all these up in a gothic/werewolf/fantasy theme and you've got a real gem here!
Sunday, 11 October 2015
Review: The Visit
2015 Olivia Dejonge, Ed Oxenbould, Deanna Dunagan, Kathryn Hahn
Director M. Night Shyamalan is one of those directors you either love or hate as the years go by, he is capable of making thought provoking and tense films such as Signs, but on the other hand he can produce uneven messy films such as The Last Airbender and the disgraceful After Earth.
I am sad to report that this years entry in the form of handheld horror flick The Visit is yet another misfire...
The Visit begins with a mother sending her 2 children to stay with there grandparents for a week whom she lost contact with due to a quarrel when the was a girl. The girl of the pair decides to video tape the whole week (because that is what children do these day apparently!?). All seems normal when they arrive and the boy of the pair (and also the comic relief for this film) wastes no time telling his Grandmother all about rap music. However when the first night approaches the duo soon learn that not all is as it appears when the long lost Grandparents are concerned...
This film sticks to a very formulaic plot in which the Grandparents increasingly become unstable as the nights pass by. This predictable approach meant I was able to guess the outcome halfway through the film. You could even skip to the Friday night showdown/finale point in the film and literally not have missed anything of value. Shyamalan uses his usual tricks of red herrings, jump scares and of course the extremely outdated and tiresome approach of 'shaky cam'.
The characters are as 2 dimensional as they come, funny boy character and sensible older sister are the main stars. The villainous Grandparents were laughably bad, going for the creep factor yet never for one second did I see them as any kind of threat to our protagonists. They were geriatrics, geriatrics aren't scary!
The overall effect of the film was just a mishmash of set pieces and ideas strung together by a wafer thin plot. Horror has never been the most intellectually challenging of genres but there were so many instances where characters made questionable decisions just to advance the plot or drag out what was meant to be a frightening scene. I cared little about the characters or thier outcome and found myself checking my watch more that once, a real stinker in what should be the spookiest month of the year.
The Verdict
The Visit fails across the board as horror/thriller, it is neither scary, nor funny, or even remotely engaging. Bland characters and a ridiculously predictable plot make this film unworthy of a visit.
1/5
Director M. Night Shyamalan is one of those directors you either love or hate as the years go by, he is capable of making thought provoking and tense films such as Signs, but on the other hand he can produce uneven messy films such as The Last Airbender and the disgraceful After Earth.
I am sad to report that this years entry in the form of handheld horror flick The Visit is yet another misfire...
The Visit begins with a mother sending her 2 children to stay with there grandparents for a week whom she lost contact with due to a quarrel when the was a girl. The girl of the pair decides to video tape the whole week (because that is what children do these day apparently!?). All seems normal when they arrive and the boy of the pair (and also the comic relief for this film) wastes no time telling his Grandmother all about rap music. However when the first night approaches the duo soon learn that not all is as it appears when the long lost Grandparents are concerned...
This film sticks to a very formulaic plot in which the Grandparents increasingly become unstable as the nights pass by. This predictable approach meant I was able to guess the outcome halfway through the film. You could even skip to the Friday night showdown/finale point in the film and literally not have missed anything of value. Shyamalan uses his usual tricks of red herrings, jump scares and of course the extremely outdated and tiresome approach of 'shaky cam'.
The characters are as 2 dimensional as they come, funny boy character and sensible older sister are the main stars. The villainous Grandparents were laughably bad, going for the creep factor yet never for one second did I see them as any kind of threat to our protagonists. They were geriatrics, geriatrics aren't scary!
The overall effect of the film was just a mishmash of set pieces and ideas strung together by a wafer thin plot. Horror has never been the most intellectually challenging of genres but there were so many instances where characters made questionable decisions just to advance the plot or drag out what was meant to be a frightening scene. I cared little about the characters or thier outcome and found myself checking my watch more that once, a real stinker in what should be the spookiest month of the year.
The Verdict
The Visit fails across the board as horror/thriller, it is neither scary, nor funny, or even remotely engaging. Bland characters and a ridiculously predictable plot make this film unworthy of a visit.
1/5
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